Judge my poem 1-10, its for anyone who is interested?

Question

In a life of endless tommorow
All i hope for is no more sorrow
Do you have another smile i can borrow?

Its about being told tommorow will get better and girls i have liked being with someone i dont thats the third line i pretend im happy for them i am but for them not myself...

Answer 1

Disagree with a previous answer; a poem can't be too short. But also agree that you shouldn't have to explain it.



The whole idea of poetry is that someone who reads it realises that they have felt the same emotion, without being able to put it into words themselves.



Your poem does that perfectly - but change tommorow to tomorrow - if you are going to write poetry, be sure you can spell properly.

Answer 2

Artsy fartsy

pity party

invited lag

clown face sag

eye pocket coons

pop the balloons

rip the invites

sorrow is getting trite

Answer 3

A 1. It's too short.

Answer 4

a poem cant be too short. you shouldn't have to explain it though... part of the beauty of a poem is that it is open ended and the readers experiences affect the meaning for themselves.

Answer 5

Too many abstractions, you shouldn't have to explain a poem.



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