what do you think of my poems?

Question

a few poems I wrote- honest opinions, good or crap? if you don't want to do them all just do one, anything appreciated!


Where the river bends

Can't see ahead
Blind turn
Fills you with dread

Maybe disaster
Or joy
Flowing faster

Can't turn back now
Too late
You wonder how

You ended here
Too scared
To feel the fear

That drenches you
So cold
But nothing new

To those who love
The ones
Who live above

Current takes you
Too fast
Too strong, too soon,

Still undecided,
To where
They once resided

Around the bend
Wet through
Time starts to mend

Your biggest scars
Breathe again
They'll take you far



Freight train

Dreading the date
Only makes time
Faster, faster
Approach inclines

Sliding closer
Impossible
To break, to slow her,
Runaway freight
Train will crush us

but

It reaches you and you find
That it doesn't matter,

Because you are with your kind.



Around the bend

I'm a red zebra
Escaping the race,
To win or lose.
To hard to ace
This thing called life.
Can't take the pace.
But one more corner,
And I'll see your


face.



Sipping chai

Sometimes I wonder,
Will she push me?
Could she break the
Peace? Happiness?
'Would you like a cup of tea?'

The kettle is on.
Ice to boiling,
Indifferent
And then FURY
'But lets not talk about that'

But we should. I want
To make you feel
The compassion
That's forbidden
To all but me.




*
Shut away.
She wants to be free-
'Let me out!'
Ignorant to her cries.
Oblivious.

But not so.
Alone, you release-
She is free.
You remember her face.
So alone.




Haiku

My dreams have broken
My future is collapsing
Clutch at my rose quartz

(by the way, these ARE copyrighted to me!)

Answer 1

I think they I beautiful, in my opinion. I love the last one the most, to tell the truth. It kind of expresses part of my life that my sibling destroyed.....

Answer 2

Shows promise, I suppose. Just a reminder, not ALL poems have to be about the negative aspects of life. The negative aspects are easier to write and make up, but it is the happy ones, the ones that motivate people that are hard. I don't think these lines relate to you, I can't see a connection of yourself in the poems. IT is true that master poets do not need to experience the things they write about, but you are not there yet. Few are. Start out with something small, something far easier for you to express emotions and connect to.

Answer 3

Very unique!! Would you please tell me how I could copywrite my stuff? I am terrified to share anything, I don't know if you can respond to my response, but I would love to hear from you, my favorite part was, "where the river bends, can't see ahead, blind turn, fills you with dread" ~

Answer 4

I think your poems are very interesting, they were a bit confusing at the first read but once I looked further into them they became brilliant. I really like your style or writing and some how everything just flows smoothly so great job. My favorite was the first one.



If you have time please comment on my poem.

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