Haiku Poetry - Comments Please?

Question

The Haiku is a traditional Japanese poetry form that has been translated into English. The common misconception is that Haiku's should have a maximum 17 syllable count split into 3 lines as follows 5-7-5, this is not so a Haiku can contain less then 17 syllables but no more.
The first two lines create an image within the readers mind with the third line creating the 'ku' or aha moment where the reader realises the initial picture is not the whole scene, the 3 lines are all on the same subject but you create a juxtaposition. Traditional Haiku revolve around the seasons and there is always a word that indicates that season, though it may not be obvious. Contemporary Haiku tend to reflect human emotion.
No poetic devices are used in the Haiku, it is merely an observation of a moment in time. Haiku do not usually have titles, but the first line can be used as the title, neither do they contain punctuation or capital letters, the '-' is added only to show where the aha moment starts.

Comments appreciated;

~Haiku #38~

feathers bloom
in spring courtship –
inky quill

~Haiku #37~

a deer trembles
in Autumn’s morning mist –
a cougar waits

~Haiku #35~

in warm eiderdown
by icy pond -
ducklings skate

~Haiku #34~


chaos on the battle field
helmets strewn in autumn dusk -
harvest time again

~Haiku #32~

sprinklers whispering
shimmering ‘cross summer lawns -
house burning brightly

~Haiku #30~

grey-red mosaic
drying below the May sun -
a recent roadkill

~Haiku #28~

perfect sky
ripped by thunder –
pilots playing chase me

~Haiku #26~


Timber shuddering
in early April shower -
a chainsaw cuts deep

~Haiku #25~

suns rays
dancing on the beach;
her hair

~Haiku #22~

two shoes lie mirrored
forgotten when spring cleaning -
the wake remembered

~Haiku #16~

entrance at last breached
by a hard battering ram -
virginities death

~Haiku #15~

shifting the gearing
as more speed is required -
orgasm approaches

~Haiku #10~

virgin cold
shrinks capacity -
yellow snow

~Haiku #9~

sunbathing wet stones
beneath waterfalls cascade:
dog with cocked leg

Answer 1

Never Eat Yellow Snow. LOL

Answer 2

Traditional Japanese haiku is 5-7-5, but they use symbols that have more meanings than a simple word. Having spread world wide there are less strict rules to go by. In your Grecian Language, I am sure you know about words having deeper meanings. This: Scented rosebuds from morning dew entwined into a hair garland for a sea nymph to wear is detailed and you do not put your emotions into it. That is a rule, even today. A haiku is describing a picture without showing how you feel about it. sweet scented rosebuds entwined in a hair garland that a sea nymph wears would be the haiku version of your beautiful image. .

Answer 3

Thank you for sharing your work. The best of them are excellent. Here is one of mine, in gratitude. The first line is Izumi Shikibu's:



rooted in thin ice

long after the geese have gone

numbed cattails waving

Answer 4

I like haiku poetry it's very cinematic and image laden for being so short.