I've penned a few words here, I'd like to hear yours here on, Domino effect?

Question

(Ref; Domino Theory originally articulated by D.D.E. in 1945)


"Dominoes"

The domino effect exists
it is alive and well;
from poor,middle,upper,elite
slow motion topple going up hill spill.

Answer 1

Words were arranged, fitted

each building, supporting, lifting

When released...like dominoes

tumbling, falling, cascading.

Chaos perhaps, but intertwined

a poet's song...delivered.

Answer 2

I love short poems and this is a really interesting one. When I write I tend to cut back to the bare bones, so I would probably cross out exists, it and spill, but I'm also aware that I sometimes cut too much. Entirely the poets choice at the end of the day, but see what you think of



The domino effect

is alive and well;

from poor, middle, upper, elite

slow motion topple going uphill



Interesting to know where the term came from, who is DDE?



Mm, with further thought you may want to choose another phrase for alive and well, as its a fairly common term in speech and may have less impact than another which means the same thing.



I love the last two lines, which create the unspoken question of what exactly is toppling uphill, it could be ideas, hardship,but it could be many things, which I like and it definitely promotes thought.



I love the way it implies, amongst other things, connectedness between different levels of society and the workings of cause and effect between them.



Overall, this is a brilliant short poem and has the potential to really go places. Keep writing!



Edit

I hope you don't mind the minor critical points I made, its only through my enthusiasm for the poem that I do, and I would hate for you to feel bad about them.

Answer 3

WOW, u took something so simple and made it awesome! it's a simple concept and you took it and turned it into a poem, awesome!





what do u think of this?



Fireworks



Strike a match and light the wick

Take caution cause it burns quick

Count time off as the rope burns down

Cover your ears to the blaring sound

One by one watch them soar

When it's over you'll be wanting more

Bright lights float through the sky

The people here just watch them fly

Pack your chairs and load the car

Up in the sky is a shooting star

Make a wish but tell no one

July is over with the rising sun

Save me from falling,

Don't let me crash down

When you're up in the air

You'll forget to come down

Don't let me forget...

Answer 4

It's going to take years to feel the full effect of the current "domino" situation.

Very well said!

Answer 5

Like the poem, really,

but disagree on the message, and that is very very very

unimportant.