Question:
Will you please critique my brand new poem?
?
2014-01-27 08:27:20 UTC
Brand New Poem

Hi.
I’m a brand new poem.
I exist!
I have a beginning,
a middle,
and an end.
You can see it down there if
you just glance downward for a moment.
See where it says “The End”?
It’s delicious, isn’t it---knowing there are parts of this poem
you haven’t read yet?
You’re approaching the middle section now…


Wait a minute…
How could I know it says “The End” at the bottom?
I’m still being written!
Oh sure, I’ll be finished by the time YOU see it…
but isn’t the person writing me still hard at work on it?
Just as there are parts of this poem you haven’t read yet,
doesn’t it make sense that those same parts
haven’t been written yet, either?
I mean, the guy writing me
is working on THIS very sentence
as we speak!
I can’t predict the future, can I?
Can I?
Oh my God, I CAN!!!

You’ll have to excuse me---but I’m pretty sure I just blew my own mind.
I honestly think I can predict the future.
This is VERY heavy, people.
I’m going to need a minute or so…

OK---I’ve got a handle on it.
Forgive me, but nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
Granted, NOTHING has really happened to me before today,
but I think you understand.

I’m going to test my theory:
If I’m correct,
my creator,
the guy typing away right now,
is going to get up,
walk to the kitchen,
and make himself a ham sandwich…

(short time later)

OH MY GOD!!! He did it!
The moron actually did it!
I can see him wiping mustard off his lips
with an old snot-rag!

Uh-oh…
He didn’t like that.
I probably shouldn’t have mentioned
that part about the snot-rag…
I think he might be mad at me.

Ummm, I’m scared, people.
I just had another glimpse of the future…
It doesn’t look too rosy for me, I’m afraid.
Do you want to know what this jerk has planned
once he’s finished with me?
He’s going to post me on the INTERNET!!!
Of all the rotten things to do to a poem…
Talk about virtual Hell.
Why, I oughta…

The End.
Six answers:
?
2014-01-27 09:13:02 UTC
Wow!,Bless my Dijon and pickles!This lasted a whole forty minutes or more!
doclakewrite
2014-01-27 16:32:29 UTC
The poems hold a lot of humour. I like the way you approached this and made it into a sort of personal speech from the first person . Quite inventive for sure... I liked it and it had my anticipating the next line. Well done and creative.
neonman
2014-01-27 16:50:54 UTC
Creative. Is your theory now that the longer you make the poem, the longer it will stay before being deleted? How's the ham sandwich?
?
2014-01-27 18:43:17 UTC
Greatest poem ever written.
2014-01-27 16:30:46 UTC
I don't get these kinds of poems where words don't rhyme. I think they all suck.
P'quaint!
2014-01-27 17:05:50 UTC
"Voices from the Womb!" :)


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...