i made this poem up for english class. im 14. its extra credit up to 7 points. i hope its good?

Question

There is one nation in this world
That is known as the land of opportunity, the land of hope
Where freedom is a right and not a privilege
Where dreams turn to reality
And where success is sustainable
This nation is our home, America
A land where religion or race play no difference
A land where hunger is a distant memory
A land where money is available to all who desire and perceive it
A land where education is a must and is free
A land where you can feel no different from a friend
This land is ours, America
Children are the future of this world
In this land, children already have a future to look forward to
They set goals for themselves at a young age and strive to achieve them
Disease is a top killer of children
But imagine having medicine available at the corner of your block
What is this land I speak of?
America, of course
Imagine a land where peace is a priority
Where immigrants can feel safe
Where children can grow up to be happy adults
Where people are united as one
This is USA

Answer 1

Hey, you have a huge heart and I can tell you are proud of America. The poem was written well for a 14 year old. I have to be honest though, I am older and I have seen so much more of what our government is like then you have. Here, children are starving, here there is not more middle class only rich and poor, here the future of our world is our children but only because they are fed nonsense and believe our government whole heartedly, because that's all they know. Here religion and race make all the difference to most in office, here education is free but there is also no money to sustain it and our schools are failing our children. Our jobs and our opportunities are taken by people who come into our country illegally. We take care of the world and throw America down the drain. Our government is failing us and our great country is falling apart. All that America was, the America you love, is gone. We as citizens need to take care of each other and look out for each other. We need to make sure our home is how is should be. And dear, you will have people who tell you I'm nuts or I am rude for writing this, but your poem is very idealistic and the farthest from reality. Please research for yourself and find out what is really happening. But, you did not ask for this, you asked for my opinion on you poem and I think its is very, very well written.

Answer 2

That it definitely in my top ten pile of deluded nonsense. Try a little reality if you are allowed. How about "What Uncle Sam Really Wants" by Noam Chomsky (he is one of Americas greatest minds).

Answer 3

Wonderful poem! You are very talented at a young age. (from one poetry writer to another) The Lord has blessed you with a gift. Continue to write, who knows maybe you will become famous one day! (If you do, don't forget me!)

Answer 4

hey sounds FANTASTIC to me, but thats not saying much because im not that talented so i think everything is amazing. ANYWHO SOUNDS FANTASTC!!! i like the part that is like "Where dreams turn to reality"

Answer 5

Wow, that's deep! A++++++++++!!!!

Answer 6

and ur 14!!! wow!!! u are hecka good for someone so young! awesome!!!

Answer 7

are u sure you are 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!



this is the most wonderful poem i have ever read.



congrats !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Well done!