Question:
Who can judge my poem? "The day of your empty"?
Ghost
2009-05-23 03:57:19 UTC
Your drowning into an empty coma…
The day of your empty is your soma…
It’s the day you see no right from wrong…
The day of your empty makes you belong…
When everyone walks away from you…
The day of your empty needs you…

You’re the tornado that moves the ground…
The Day of your empty is the screaming sound..
And when you start dancing with everyone’s heart…
The day of your empty breaks yours apart…
And when your heart stops beating for the world…
The day of your empty becomes even more swirled…


It’s the day you really stop caring……
The day of your empty makes it even more daring…
When you destroy everything that is beautiful…
The day of your empty turns it into a game…
You’re the fire that burns everything away…
The day of your empty is black and gray…
You can’t push your empty day away…

When you just want to fade away…
The day of your empty is your black hole…
When you change everything you are…
The day of your empty changes you by far…
When you cant remember when it ever was good…
The day of your empty lets it elude…

When you have no more hopes or expectations…
The day of your empty takes away your frustrations…
You don’t know why but your not in control…
The day of your empty’s grip will not let you go…
You want to play and you keep begging for more…
The day of your empty creates all the gore…

When you stop realizing your not okay…
The day of your empty leads you astray
Your addicted to the day of your empty…
As the day of your empty is addicted to you..
And if the day of your empty would disappear…
You would go with it…
And if the day of your empty would die…
You would want to die with it…
Three answers:
Gracie
2009-05-23 04:44:03 UTC
This is a really good poem. I see there is a lot of emotion in it.

I really do like it.
shirleyf
2009-05-23 05:53:43 UTC
This is very good. I have a bit of ADD, but, I stayed with you through this and got the message. I starts out sounding a bit like a rap, but, overall its very good writing. You express yourself well and you show imagination. Thanks for posting. I enjoyed reading it.
2009-05-23 05:59:25 UTC
and the wait continues


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