my friend said i should publish my poetry, what do you think?

Question

ive never studied poetry but my friend says im really good. id like a Professional opinion.
i wrote most of these in high school:

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THIS MUSIC (written as a tribute to Ludwig Van Beethoven’s “moonlight sonata”)

This is the music of the singing soul.

The dancing of the crystal waters.

This music that burns my heart and weeps in the ashes.

It set my soul alight and sends my mind into a drunken stupor.

It tears at my flesh like the thorns of a rose.
Poisoning my with both joy and sorrow.

The music of the laughing willow.

The music of the crying sun.

The music that fills a room with black light and tries to escape.

Pushing and pounding at its walls with a demonic lust.

It burns my mind like phoenix fire, in which new thoughts blossom and expanded.

This is the music that falls on deaf ears.

Which dwindles like a candle in this new world.

But which still stands as strong as the tallest mountains.


This is the music of the loved,
The loath,
The blessed and the cursed



And I love it so, so dearly.


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THANK YOU FOR THIS LOVE (i wrote this for my girlfriend)

Thank you for this love I feel with each passing day,
Thank you for the warmth that flows when I hear your name.

Thank you for the happy tears I shed as I read your words,
I love you,
I want you,
I need you.
Words that I can never return with enough love to do them justice.


Thank you for the happiness I feel in your presences,

Thank you for the courage you give me to get though the day,

Thank you for reminding me that I have a heart,
And thank you for giving it the strength to beat again.
For it shale always beat for you...

Thank you for your love, my love, this love

And thank you for the greatest gift of all, you...
too my Angel x


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THE CHIME (this was for a school project and the teacher loved it)

The chime of a clock from 1 to 12 is a space of the unknown.
You can live, you can die.
You can celebrate, you can morn.
You can hope, you can grieve.

Even history doesn’t last forever.

Man is something in the eyes of man.

But to the eyes of eternity, we are small.


From life to death, eternity hasn’t moved,
A mere blink
And then… who knows.

Will life blossom once again, only to be extinguished once more?

Will life go on after we leave in some paradise of our own making, or a wasteland of lost hope?

To such secrets, there are no answers.

In which case,

Where are we going?

Answer 1

Wow! These are super :)



I like the fact that You have included your inspiration for each poem because most people on here don;t bother. By adding the 'muse' you make the reader feel more attached to the poetry and it helps them to identify with it more easily.



I think the way that you have structured your poetry shows great promise and skill. Ok, there are some spelling mistakes, but the actual grit of the poetry is bold and you have an in-built knowledge (it seems) even if you haven't studied the art.



I feel that your punctuation helps to create good flow and ebb to the work, for example :-



"From life to death, eternity hasn’t moved,

A mere blink

And then… who knows."



This is beautiful and the pause given by the dots falls nicely rather than making the phrase disjointed. And this section:-





"The music of the laughing willow.



The music of the crying sun.



The music that fills a room with black light and tries to escape."



Makes me want to listen to the classical piece of music again. I suggest you create a professional style portfolio of all your poems, check the spelling, read them back to yourself to make sure they 'feel' write, and approach a publishing house that has previously published poetry books.



Anyway, well done and good luck for the future!

Answer 2

It's not bad, but don't allow yourself to be carried away with it. For instance, what is 'The loath'? And it's 'mourn', not 'morn', which means morning. I have no idea how old you are but I think I'm correct in assuming you are quite young, in which case it's very good, as is the very fact that you are writing verse. I would have thought your teacher would have pointed out the spelling and English errors, but you need to pay attention to that. Line seven of the first is wrong, perhaps a typo?

Keep on, and if you can publish, do so. Try www.poetry.com, but be aware that they are a ruthlessly profiteering organisation, and prey on peoples vanity. So don't allow yourself to be sucked into spending loads of money.

Answer 3

I read most of your three poems, I had to stop. What you were saying was sweet and touching and all, but it was the grammar that got to me. And the uncapitalized "i"'s, poet's have a certain poetic license when it comes to language but to bend the rules in the right way you must know what they are first. So I could not enjoy your poems. You have potential, you could be a great romantic poet. You just have to polish up your work. Hope this helps :)

Answer 4

Clap clap clap clap!

Applause for the lad here, please. Bravo!



Go ahead. Publish it. You can't lose anything if you do. (Just make sure you have it copyrighted).

Check on your grammar and spelling, though. An omitted letter (intentional or not), may change the thought completely. Missing a word is worse (...Poisoning my ___? with both joy...). So be careful.



Keep on writing. Keep on sharing your thoughts and talent. The more you give, the more you will receive in return. God bless...

Answer 5

You are really good. Don't ever doubt your skills. If you like to write let the words take control and just like your heart shine out in your writing and It can take you many places in life.

Answer 6

I think that weather your good or not at poetry, an artist should always be trying to get their work out there.



I think your stuff sounds pretty good.

Answer 7

Yeah, I say go for it! Life's too short to waste, and that is awesome poetry.

Answer 8

i think your poems are very good. i love art and you did a good job.