How do you feel about this poem?

Question

Is it a crime to be bored
is it a sin to lust after girlfriend
in the middle of the afternoon on friday
is it wrong as A-l on fish to get good
and drunk after the middle of a lovely day
when you are bored with the dog
the computer and 316 channels on the tv

Y'all know 8 pm is the best time to watch
and after that raid the pantry
before it's time to sink into the pillow
think of nothing

at 2 pm there is nothing
i wanna see but my woman
coming after me
or another cup of java
and to hear the 1969
speaker blaster Almost Cut My Hair

where were we? well I was twelve
and I had to cut my hair

Today it is so pretty outside
I am prepared to wait until night before
I go completely headfirst.

Copyright Nightcrawler Works 2007

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Answer 1

All these may be wrong if they are vague and obscure:



Is it a crime to be bored

is it a sin to lust after girlfriend

in the middle of the afternoon on friday

is it wrong as A-l on fish to get good

and drunk after the middle of a lovely day

when you are bored with the dog

the computer and 316 channels on the tv



The rest sounds quite fine except no idea what you mean by:



i wanna see but my woman

coming after me

or another cup of java

and to hear the 1969

speaker blaster Almost Cut My Hair



Sounds as if you are just playing with words! Make them work for you some magic they hide. Let the words reveal the hidden pearls they echo but do not voice.

Answer 2

I like it because it reflects your own personal style. There are different styles of poetic genious, and I believe no one can judge your work better than yourself.

Answer 3

The modern beat is there. The pace of life and its urban

tourches illuminate your pysche.



www.SkyQuestComMedia.com

Answer 4

It doesn't do a huge amount for me but, I'm a person that at times it could take a nuke to get through to me.

Answer 5

lets get real it sux



go write a book



and read up on poetry and verse

Answer 6

Wow. Very random.

Answer 7

Its good, post it on poetry.com