any tips on yet another poem? haha?

Question

i wrote another poem today (another rough poem i may say) about a girl who cuts herself because her dad beats her mom. if you have anyy tips or suggestions please tell me :) and i have other poems posted in my questions section if you'd like to see them. thanks so much!

I glance at my arm
Scarred, and bloody.
I did not see
how this was harm.

It felt good,
To let go, and release.
Because I didn't know
Where my life stood.

My mind would spin,
I told myself I would stop.
I really, really tried,
But I would never win.

Time after time,
Life didn't get better.
I started to wonder
If I was committing a crime.

They said what I was doing
was a sign of weakness.
Little did they know,
The type of things I was viewing.

Answer 1

it's kind of gloomy...

Answer 2

As you understand I am partial to the way in which you write regardless of whether or not it’s your poem or your solutions you've smoothness on your phrases which I discover stimulating, nonetheless, I can not fake too recognize what this poem is approximately. When I attempted to image it, I bought plenty of one-of-a-kind pictures all combating for function and it gave the impression “wordy” So, while I checked out it, I see your poem like this:- Blood of her father's harvest can not stain. Towards a starless cave barefoot she runs Mother’s hands of fireside can not achieve her The lady from the little the town, close the solar A basket full of scarlet seeds Sewed on curling crests of southern air Found in a cradle graveyard via the ocean A fishbone comb to appease her tangled hair

Answer 3

its a good effort, but there is room for improvement. First, ask yourself why are you writing this poem? For personal enjoyment, for a large audience, or for a specific person. Then on the basis of your conclusion, create your poem to suit your audience. For example, a large audience prefers a poem that has pronounced rhythm, easy-to-understand storyline, and a noticeable beat. You definitely have the rhythm and storyline. but need work on the beat. For yourself or another person style just like you want to. After all, poetry is supposed to come from the heart.