These are 2 poems I wrote on love, a while back. How do you like them?

Question

I'm just your average 17 year old guy, but I love writing poetry. Please tell me what you think! Thanks! oh and btw, these are 2 separate poems.


Nerves mock and ridicule me, strings drawn to the spot
Your touch is of new thing, though is soothing, one that mocks.
Not entirely of the sense, that ridicules pokes in josh,
painstaking, its dis-alluding , the more I realize that I'm not...
One to be, one to see and one to breathe, air shared by your amazing fair, your complexion, your low crest stare. Your an angel, I'm below, Do you know how your names goes, I sure know. Sound withdrawn from the mesh, the noise that is the rest.. none of value, none to be, all in truthfulness, so fails harmony. Because your tone is far and few, so beautiful, I felt I knew.


No one word to borrow, not one sentence to place,
Beauty cannot be written, total sum set in sun set,
for no time today, nor tomorrow, will describe your face,
your person, your faith, mine left, no regret.
But metamorphosis chooses on me, picking me up, spitting me out,
the times at which I've lost a part to nerves that harsh yet subtle mock,
is a place, everybody but nobody should be, beside by fear push forward with doubt, Though still shunned by the clock, incessant tocks harden my nature, put to lock.
Thought inconvenient, yes, but in agreement, no,
I love how you blossom, you spread out,
you don't stand by the evening, you are more than I know,
I cannot say that you awesome, grammar only so goes.
For what I can grasp, I contradict,
your beauty has none competent
No competitor, not one higher,
As all are tired, you're the better.
My heart skips, takes a step ahead of reach,
You'd think I would worry, not all is right
Forget beats missed, I am beseeched
Because feelings treat and they meet,
but like the moon they never fade with the night,
they hide in flurry.

Answer 1

"Oh Please" yourself.

the question clearly states its LOVE poems,if your not for "all this mush" why did you open this question??????????????????

Now that Ive commented on your comment...

I love these poems.they are lovely,and quite well done,from my limited experience in poetry.The 1st poem I think is better,it flows better,the meaning easier to follow

Just ignore the "oh pleases" they sound like little kids embarrassed about 2 lovers pledging their undying love then kissing,or like someone who WISHES they could write poetry like that,but knows they cant.

JUst ignore the sarcastic comments,maybe work on making the 2nd poem easier to follow,

And good luck with your future poems,I enjoyed reading these 2

Answer 2

first element i desire to declare is that poem sound so organic and crammed with love. is extremely appropriate certainly. Love is discomfort, all and sundry is familiar with it, yet whilst u will shop in ur heart the products that love supplies u, u would be wealthy in heart and soul.

Answer 3

oh please