Land breezes Beckon" Comments please, Do you hear their call?

Question

Land breezes Beckon

The storms of seas
have been penned
as metaphors of life's
turbulence and strife,
and then again I've read
poetic words lovingly flow
as soothing is the neap of tide
moved by silence of the moon,
each circling wind
north,east, south,west
comes and goes, begins again
is never seen,
we hear, we feel,
winds roaring blow,
we know winds rage
leaves wreckage remains
Alas! seen without
unseen within,
and then again, I've read
poetic words, loving flow
of gentle whispering winds
that speak and brush each cheek,
and flutter leafs to cool a summers heat.

Boundless horizons seek
land breezes, Seafarers bound.

August 2008

Answer 1

This is a good piece that speaks of alternate meanings of the same forces. It does flow nicely and I like the message. Sometimes we have to allow room for alternate meanings. . .

Answer 2

I fell easily into this one and especially love "seen without unseen within"



I did stumble upon "leaves wreckage remains" but honestly have no alternative suggestion

Answer 3

Jenny, I did enjoy a lot your words. Well said with a nice flow as I read. My only critique which is minor is 'leaves wreckage remains', didn't flow right as I read. Overall though, my compliments.

Answer 4

If 'Land breezes Beckon' is the title, I don't think

it captures the essence of the poem. The poem

itself, however, is very cool.

 

Answer 5

My suggestion if it helps:-



we know winds rage

wreckage still remains

Alas! seen without

unseen within,

Answer 6

Jenny, excellent writing this morning. I really enjoyed it. I think I tripped at the same spot Neonman did. Minor problem. Overall, I loved it. Thanks for sharing.