The poem I am about to show you is copyrighted the minute I hit the send button. I wrote it when I was 17. Feel free to share yours, and put your name or pseudonym at the end so we know whom to credit if we share it.
Dew It!!
The sky was on the verge of tears
As I floated down the street.
I’d only had a couple of beers.
That’s not why I felt so neat!
I’d just tried the new wonder high,
It worked just like a charm.
And no stuffed-shirt FDA guy
Would tell you it does harm.
This latest thing since the speed attack,
Which is legal, through and through,
Costs you three bucks for a six-pack,
Its label reads “Mountain Dew”.
Just hold a can up to your nose,
And before you bat an eye,
Tilt it up and breathe in hard,
And spiral towards the sky.
Carbonation is the key,
It can’t work when it’s flat.
You got to have the bubbles, see,
Cause that is where it’s at!
Snorting “Dew” has some drawback,
It makes you cough and choke.
Or maybe even worse than that,
You’ll do the hard stuff – Coke!
Mountain Dew junkies are everywhere,
They’re always kind and mellow.
Their nostrils are big since they need more air,
And their faces are turning yellow.
Those Dew snorters end up every time
At Over-Dewers Anonymous.
(I’ve run out of words which rhyme,
There’s no use going on with this!)
Laughing Dolphin Music
(Your Uncle Dodge)