Rate this poem on the scale of 1-10(along with ur comments if any amendments r to be made).?

Question

Emneshed in the arms of despair
I looked out of the window
To quest some light,some glow
But hung above were the wispy clouds
Struggling against whom were the stars and the moon.

The dry air droned in my ears
And pierced from every corner
Woe is me!When will i get rid of these tears
Dullness wavering every bit of my soul
With utmost hope higher i did dart

I sobbed.....I lamented
Till my eyes went dry
But I looked at the bend of the sky
Out of the window my eyes quested
Still hoping for some light to come ........!

Answer 1

10 being excellent and 1 being terrible, then I don't want to tell you because you will probably commit suicide. If you want to write depressing poetry then read some of the stuff that already exists, that is actually good poetry. You never know, you might feel better. Read this by WB Yates:



When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim Soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Answer 2

i like the repetition of the pyol because it keeps bringing the reader decrease back to the area of the narrator. You capture a dazzling 2d: a definite place, a definite 2d while issues are hassle-free, comprehensible and existence is merely stable. very advantageous! As for the human beings who merchandise to the non secular ingredient: overlook approximately them. you will be able to desire to be an agnostic or an athiest for all they comprehend: if faith or God works on your poem, use it! My call-outs: I consider Todd bearing directly to the squirrel line. possibly it incredibly is recommended to assert something bearing directly to the squirrel shaking his tail. and that i sing alongside can end with a single era. the surplus classes distract. i'm guessing the result you have been aiming for is which you're area of the music and the music does not end, yet you would be greater effective off writing: "and that i connect, for a together as, the on no account-ending music." I fairly enjoyed the fourth stanza. you have very sturdy, gorgeous imagery. different than for the final line. locate an decision for "undercover agent." It does not help the load of the photos that come earlier. ( How approximately "Beholden, my eyes could desire to not look away."?) all of the stanzas have 4 strains, different than stanza 2. look to characteristic a line because it creates an uneven visual charm. the plush eco-friendly fields sway and swing, below the flight of birds, Describing varieties knowable in hassle-free terms to them fading into the area. thank you very lots for sharing this!

Answer 3

Actually I cant really find anyting wrong or anything that needs fixing. you've already substituted common words with more better ones exept maybe one. the word "looked".



Im not saying you have to or that theres anything wrong with it but the word "looked" is way to common in poems. If you could change that word I think you'd have a very very uniqe poem. ^-^



Nice job by the way ^-^

Answer 4

Nayan:

I like your poem, but you can always improve it so I rate it as 9.9 -the other one tenth of a point you'll get it in a couple of years.

Congrats.

Answer 5

6 maybe.

a bit difficult for my understanding.

Answer 6

i love it so much



(except for the last line...maybe a more sophisticated word could be used?)

Answer 7

I love it! a perfect 10!!!!

Answer 8

nice job by the way ( no fixin)