Care to comment on a poem that asks "does it all come out in the wash?"?

Question

“Even the President of the United States sometime is gonna hafta stand naked” *
By Jellz

It’s all right for me to take my stand
While you throw at me all that you can
Every day you take the same shot
Leaving me hot/cold with what you got
There’s an issue here and force it you do
It’s draining, yet clearly a real part of you
I could replace you, click, in a snap
You’ll see who has the power on tap
Show down tomorrow, same time, place same
Off you go now, that was a clean game

* Bob Dylan "It's alright Ma (I'm only bleeding)"

Answer 1

These wash day blues, stand in line

drop the drawers, load the wash

hot and cold, the wash and rinse

wash you soul, then wash your clothes

anyone for a spin now?

Answer 2

Well, as you asked. It's pretty dreadful actually. 'Showdown' is one word, and 'place same' is as bad a piece of writing as I've ever seen. What were you thinking?



('Though I gotta admit - micheleann62's 're-write' is much worse. How can someone be so bad after 50 years?)



It's okay for me to take such a stand

While you throw at me all that you can

Each brand-new day, you take the same shot

Blowing hot or cold with all that you've got

You have an issue and force it you do

Draining, but clearly a real part of you

I could replace you -click - with a snap

Then you would see who has power on tap

Showdown tomorrow, time/place the same

Off I go now, that was a clean game



The meter still isn't entirely consistent, but it reads a bit smoother.

Answer 3

Pure Jellz! knock some sense inta all our heads, Luv! I liked the poem, cringed at the message, looked in the mirror - and hid under my bed. xox



Edit: This is the second time I've had a poet tell me I got it all wrong LOL. I thought Jellz was talkin' bout standin' before the Lord God Almighty; here she was just talkin' bout takin' a shower. I'm gonna go hide under the bed anyways & ponder the extent of my ignorance. LOL Luvs Ya Extremely MucH!

Answer 4

I like it, I take it to be about the health care debate, but you seem to be suggesting judgment day, which I don't get.



Where Ian is right and where he is dead wrong:

-----------------------------------------

"It's okay for me to take such a stand"

-YOUR line is implying unfairness; I have to take a stand and they don't. He completely misses that so his line is gibberish.



"Blowing hot or cold with all that you've got"

РLeaving ME hot or cold in the POLLS! Ian wants to make your line a mere clich̩,



"I could replace you -click - with a snap" - Yes Ian shows a mastery of spelling and punctuation. He would make someone a lovely secretary, if he could only stick to the script.



"Showdown tomorrow, time/place the same"

- A bogus attempt to fudge a bad line.

------------------------------------------------

My suggestion:

"Tomorrow, we'll only do it all the same"



Otherwise the poem is fine except you seem to want to communicate something I am not getting. Maybe a good title can fix that.

Answer 5

I don't want to sound like I am some expert, expert but........

I am having trouble trying to decipher the whole question and if it is a question. Here is my dilemma:

Who wrote the poetry, you or Bob Dylan?What does it have to do with

what I assume to be the title "Even the president etc." and what about the wash?????



Even if Bob (who is one of my favorite artists) wrote it, it could stand some editing, so here's my way of doing that.





Its damned alright for me to take my stand

While you throw at me all accusations you can

Everyday you take the same old shot

I react hot/cold with what you got

Oh yeah there's an issue here. Force it you do

Its a daily drain on me and a real part of you



Do you know I could replace you click, in a snap?

Ha! You would see who has the power on tap

Show down tomorrow. Same place, same time

The game is so old, I rehearsed every line

To fight this word war with all words we've heard

Is the most outrageous and most absurd



.So this is my take....what was the question?

Answer 6

Sometimes the devil likes to

drive you from the neighborhood.

He'll even work his ways through

those whose intentions are good.

Some like to worship on the moon,

others are worshipping the sun

And there ain't no man righteous,





I was sleepin' like a rat

When I heard something jerkin'

There stood Rita

Lookin' just like Tony Perkins

She said, "Would you like to take a shower ?

I'll show you up to the door"

I said, "Oh, no, no

I've been through this movie before



also by Dylan





AIN'T NO MAN RIGHTEOUS

(No Not One)

by Bob Dylan

Answer 7

They say everything can be replaced,

Yet evry distance is not near.

So I remember evry face

Of evry man who put me here.

I see my light come shining

From the west onto the east.

Any day now,any day now,

I shall be released.



~Bob Dylan "I Shall Be Released"

Answer 8

This sounds like strip poker or may be if we wash our clothes when we shower it will all come out in the wash. Are we washing away our friends or our enemies?

Answer 9

"It's a restless hungry feeling

That don't mean no one no good,

When ev'rything I'm a-sayin'

You can say it just as good.

You're right from your side,

I'm right from mine.

We're both just one too many mornings

An' a thousand miles behind."



Bob Dylan

From "One Too Many Mornings"