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2013-08-12 22:43:48 UTC
Blue stasis!
My body is a lifeless limb
dull and still.
There is a fire stoking,
poking within my heart.
The nostalgia rings;
my brain's all aflame
near that beach carousel
with the muddy sand gripping my feet
where land and tides meet.
I should've killed myself already.
Drowned myself
in that malicious mouth
off the black mounds
of Piha.
At the time,
suicide was romantic.
But the wind always disagreed,
a jealous widow
pinning me back on the pivots of my knees.
I died over and over that winter,
talking and fattening like a ginger buddha,
my white belly stretching,
intricate violet stretch marks.
I am a piece of art.
Look at me,
look at me,
I am more than ugly.
My mouth disfigured like a sour worm
and teeth yellow as wild wheat.
I am the optimist.
I wish for beauty.
Like the auburn gypsy brides,
with frosty bells and stars in their hair
from the airy autumn.
Maybe I'll return to the sticky summer
like a little sweet green pea
or maybe I'll storm back through the tides
of that cold winter
like a golden goddess entity.