Is this an appropriate meter for childhood memories?

Question

Childhood

Discovering a nickel in the bed
right where a tooth had been the night before.

Bare feet upon some dew-bent blades of grass
before a rising sun could dry them out.

Tall tales told by firelight at camp
which made us all too scared to go to sleep.

And finally staying upright on a bike
that always found the roughest place to fall.

Amazing things recalled from childhood
still make me smile when I remember them,

Unlike the times when I was forced to fetch
the switch he used for things I didn't do.

Answer 1

Yowee Blue I so want to save this and read it to kids, mine one day I hope but would have to change the last couplet. I live so much through my inner child, and harsh is like oil and water blended to mild.



Until the end, you took me right there. The worst I may have ever heard/felt, "She is our tribal child, but with Red hair".

Answer 2

The timing is heavily dependent on the dialect and pronunciation of the reader. (I assume you would intone these as:

fireligh as fa yer light,

fi-na-lee as finelee,

and childhood as cha yeld hood)



As for the use of the meter device, I think it suits well. You give the poem its air of naivety and thereby add weight to the punchline.

Answer 3

I think so.