Question:
What do you think of Changes, a revisited poem?
© ♪♫♪ tori ♫♪♫
16 years ago
Changes (BG-Revisited)
by Victoria Tarrani
© 9907.12; 0812.19

I remember days when you were wild,
and each moment was for play,
when money was for spending
any time, any place, any way.

Those carefree days just disappear
like stars in a bright moonbeam,
the future feels far too near,
the past a hazy dream.

It happens in a moment,
and time means so much more,
your heart fill up with wonderment,
and you know what life is for.

There is nothing in this world
that could ever make you turn
from your first-born baby girl,
who shows you how to learn.

Tick tock, it goes so fast...
a toddler was the future
now it is the past.
Seven answers:
Mixtli
16 years ago
This one displays more poetic devices, and helps the reader experience the speaker's emotion much better. Are you calling the toddler "it" in the last line?
16 years ago
This is in ballad meter, an attractive meter, although it isn't a ballad. It is somewhat narrative though and this helps us to feel with the speaker. I have only one or two minor criticisms: The word "wonder" has been so overworked in common speech that most poets avoid it.

Also, in the last line, it is correct English to call a baby or a toddler "it", but this is one thing about English I thoroughly dislike. A baby and a toddler have a gender. Calling them 'it' implies they are noting but an object. But this is only a personal objection.

Good job!
Precious to Jesus
16 years ago
Reflecting on the past is good, but if your thoughts linger there too long and you tend to get depressed easily it's not a good place to stay. Time goes by too fast! While growing up can be a rewarding experience, people tend to lose the childlike wonder and carefreeness of life. We can learn a lot from children.
dross
8 years ago
As I study this i got here across myself thinking approximately "The Legend of Sleepy hollow," which it does not extremely resemble all that lots, with the exception of the ghostly creatures, the evening and the final spookiness of all of it. I constantly style of felt sorry for previous Ichabod Crane, who might have been something of a jerk who deserved his takedown via Brom Bones, yet his journey with the Headless Horseman ought to have been terrifying previous perception. in contrast to Ichabod, I stayed removed from spooky dark roads at evening. I did get the female, yet that had its draw back, too. Why am I asserting all this? it particularly is the final temper, i assume. magnificent poem and an exceedingly picture observe image.
neonman
16 years ago
Well Mother, was the ride enjoyable? Changes reflect our own growth too. To be blessed by a child is indeed an honor and something to forever cherish. Memories from yesteryear, today and tomorrow.
Shashibhushan s
16 years ago
Dear Friend,

Perceptions play an important role in our lives.

By thinking about yesteryears,we can definitely ensure one thing that we are not heading for a better tomorrow.

Think about today only, it will give you something to enjoy.

Regards,

Shashi Bhushan Sharma
16 years ago
Good lord tori you are coming on strong, I'll buy the book!


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